Random thoughts...

Is that asking too much?
Because that's all I really want...



I think I might have said that many times to you... I think it's a shame it'll probably never come true...

But I'd still like to say...

I tried to save a dog today

Day 40 Project 365, originally uploaded by Crafty_witchy_girl.

This little yorkshire was attacked by my stray dogs Pluto, Quinho and Saci this afternoon. They would have killed him if I didn't helped.

The poor litle thing was in shock.
I took him to the vet and he needed some x-rays. He got an injury in his spine next to his neck and the doctor said we need to wait to see if he will be able to walk again.

When I was comming back home his neighbors saw me and called his home maid, so I gave him back to her. I hope he can recover completely.

Update: I went there the other day to ask the owner about how was the dog. There was no one at home, but a neighbor told me he died that same night...

The missing piece

You are the missing piece to my puzzle...

Nothing will ever fill the hole you left... I miss you so much.

Portuguese sweet rice

Arroz doce, originally uploaded by Crafty_witchy_girl.

This is a kind of pudding. A good dessert. It can be served hot or cold.

Ingredients:

2 cups of rice
water
500 ml of milk
1 can of sweetened condensed milk
Sugar to taste
cinammon powder
cloves and cinnamom pieces to taste

Cook the rice in water without any seasoning. When it's cooked, ad the milk, the cloves and cinnamon pieces, and the condensed milk. Let it boil for a few minutes. Try it to check if it needs more sugar. Pour into a bowl, sprinckle a little cinnamon powder over it and it's ready!!!

In honour to my dogs

Create your own scrapbooking design

Elvira

Elvira playing video-games, originally uploaded by Crafty_witchy_girl.

This is Elvira, my personal Toy voyager. Sometimes I take her out to do some stuff. I'll try to post more pictures of her more often. She was named after Elvira, the Queen of the darkness. I think that is an awsome movie. Definately one of my favorites...

Today I took my Elvira for a ride. We visited the Sanctuary where is burried Father Reus in São Leopoldo/RS.

Goodbye my lover, Goodbye my friend

www.scrapeveryone.com

Very recently, I thougth I've had found my true love. He was a very, very dear friend, someone who I adore. He was so polite, kind, very handsome... A perfect prince. He was the man I asked heaven... But I guess it just wasn't meant to be, because he couldn't understand my time, my needs, my fears... I don't have anything to complain about him. No rage or anger... I completely understand it must have been my very own fault, for not being the perfect girl for him, for being a coward, for falling in love for him... Now he's walking away from my life and we're not going to be friends anymore. I'm going to miss him like hell...
He was my very best friend for a few years. We actually never met, but I wished so much I could touch his hair, his skin, to kiss his lips, sleep in his arms... I wish he could have been the father to my children, the man who would live with me until the end of our days...
I'd like to dedicate this song for him. I wish I have written this words, because it seems to apply very well to what I feel and think of him.

My view of love

There's a song from U2 that says a lot about my vision of love. I totally agree that "love is blindness", or kind of it...



I believe true love is kind, patient, understanding... It accepts us the way we are, despite of our failures and flaws. It remains by our side in difficulty times and give us strenght when we can't find it in ourselves.
I think a man, to be a good partner, must be three things: a lover, a friend and a bit of father.
A lover because we want to feel desired, a friend because we want to have companionship, and a father because we want someone to take care of us, to protect us sometimes...

And a woman must be to her man a lover, a friend and a mother as well. That's the way I believe true love works. That's the way I believe it's possible to accept each other's flaws (since no one is perfect), and to make a relationship work out...

That's what I hope to find in a man someday.

What would you try if you had no fear?

What would you try if you had no fear?, originally uploaded by Crafty_witchy_girl.

I have a boyfriend. We’ve been together for about a year and a half. Most of my friends know that I am not satisfied with my relationship with him, but I decided to give him a last chance.

We stayed a couple of weeks apart, but we are together again and I feel like I can't dump him right now. He is facing a lot of monetary troubles and is thinking about quitting his job to try to pay all his debts. How could I dump him now if he stayed by my side when I was half dead in a hospital? I don't think this is fair. I don't think I love him. But I respect him as a person and as a friend… Besides, his family adores me and it seems they fear my boyfriend won’t find anyone else who understands him the way I did. They know he is not an easy person…

The biggest problem is, I am really confused about my feelings. About opportunities life is offering me and the huge paralyzing fear I have to make the wrong choices… A couple of years ago I came across this Canadian guy through internet (Actually though his sister). He was recovering from a neck surgery and she requested people for a RAOK (Random Act of Kindness); to send him postcards and get well wishes so he wouldn’t get too bored while he was recovering.

This Canadian guy wrote me back and we’ve been corresponding since then. He is awesome, handsome, intelligent, polite as a gentleman... He is quite a prince! And this prince invited me to visit his country because he believes it would be good for my future to live there. I could have a much better life than in Brazil.

I guess I’m a just a coward. I can’t decide what to do because I fear so much making the wrong choices. Of course I’d have to finish school first if I want to live somewhere else someday, and I don't know if he and even I would be able to wait these couple of years that are yet to come... I mean, I guess it’s clear that it seams I’m daydreaming of a relationship with this man, but we were raised in different cultures. I don't know if we could be fine together of if there would be so many differences that would thorn us apart.

As I just said above, he is a gentleman, a prince… And I fear I am not like a princess at all. I think he deserves someone immensely better than me... I don't want to disappoint him, I don't want to make him suffer, I don't want to ruin everything. But I'm human... Humans often destroy what they love the most. And that's what I'm trying not to do. I see him like a saint in an altar, or like the finest piece of china in a wonderful cabinet. I admire it, I want it, but I fear to reach it because I may break it...

He was the best thing that happened to me, the closest thing that I felt to love about someone in the last years... But I am not perfect. I am just human and full of flaws… I’m afraid he sees this and finds out I never was the right one for him.
Besides, how could I leave someone who is here by my side for another person who is miles and miles apart? When I am not sure if it's all an illusion or if it can come true?

Now he thinks I didn’t want to meet him in Canada. In his last message to me, my Canadian friend said: “Somewhere tucked away in a very far tiny corner of my thoughts I will miss you the remainder of my life and beyond...”
I feel him escaping through my fingers like sand and it is tearing my heart apart.

I am terribly silly and coward! I wish I was much more brave that I actually am. I fear I’m losing the opportunity of finding a true genuine love for being the way I am, and I hate myself for that!

How I wish fear couldn't stop me from leaving all behind and throwing myself into his arms...

Rihanna - Only Girl (In The World)